When your kids start becoming curious and ask you questions about sex, you may want to give them the Islamic perspective of it.
Here are a few pointers you may want to consider when it is time to have the “talk”.
1. Start Early
Sex education, if given in the beginning, in a manner which is indirect, can ensure your child has a sense of identity as well as an understanding of his or her values.
You are encouraged to sit down with your children early before they are influenced by the society. Also explain to your kids the reasons for holding such values: whether for health and/or religious reasons.
2. Provide sex education that is age-appropriate for your child
The subject of menstruation can be introduced to a child when they are 12 or 13. At this stage they can relate times during the month, say, when mom did not attend church.
You should have talks with the kids individually, not have them all together so that you can explain the topics for their appropriate age.
3. Build a good relationship with your child
Explicit and implicit messages sent by you will help provide proper sex education. Openness must be present, not a dogmatic and rigid atmosphere at home.
You as parents should have a loving relationship, and be affectionate. The kids will see this in the way you talk to each other and witness the respect that is present there.
4. Be an example
Being a good role model teaches and transmits values to children. You can an example by following the same principles that you expect of your children. Do not engage in activities that undermine their perception of sexuality.
5. Associate with those you share the same values with
Children should not only see the values you set for them at home only but also in others as well. Your child will find it more “normal” if he has friends whose parents are homosexual (two moms or two dads), have adulterous parents (parents with boyfriends or girlfriends), or other relationships deemed unacceptable by society.
6. Involve yourself in your child’s school
Become active through channels such as Parent and Teachers’ Associations (PTAs) or elected school board member. You can also be in contact with the teachers to know more about your child’s school life.
Volunteering and participating in organizations and activities at school can band you together with other parents with similar views which you can then transmit in the school.
7. Be aware of the sex education territory
Know about the kind of information your child is getting, preadolescent education. Find out what is being taught at school exactly and if possible find out the values of the person doing the sex education at your child’s school.
8. Know the religious perspective of sex
Discuss topics like sexual changes in adolescents, menstruation, and religious purity. Get assistance from other religious people should you need help getting reference from religious texts on relevant topics, just to make should they conform to your religion.
9. Make yourself available to your kids
Make yourself the primary source of sex education to your kids. This makes it clear to your children that you are the authoritative source of information despite them getting information from other sources. You can do this earlier in their life before they become rebellious teens.
10. Express your nervousness
Don’t hide the difficulty you experience when talking about sex to your kids. Ask them to bear with you when you sound nervous or uncomfortable as this will stress the seriousness of your conversation.
